Cambridge University Rle-Playing Society Newsletter the Seventh 1992 / 93 Ye Tragicall Comedie Of Advanced CyberCthulxu & Gurpshammer 2000 - Epilogue - (The Players lie dead. Enter the GM) GM: Good people all, do shuffle round and cast Thy bleary gaze upon this woeful sight! The deed is done: upon the hexed ground The party ere doth lie in mortal mess: Turned inside out, in little bitties hacked, All mangled, slashed and burnt ful| sore, as if Their sorry doom was sealed with plastic lid In microwave and evil cuisine-art. O wretched souls, for thine own sakes I did Ignore the rules and ay the cruel dice. Alas, mine fearful fudging was in vain, For'twas thy selves did claim thy rancid fate. The evil NPCs full hideous And gross they were, with Chaos Spiky Bits: Thou should have known thou didst in error go To ask of them what time the pubs did shut. 2nd Player: I bid thee cease thy spiel of dire lament, For hope doth lie within my sweaty grasp My back-up character doth spring to life, And now she comes to battle with the foe. (The GM rolls some dice) GM: The villains vile do spy Jazmyna's tracks And thus her head explodes with ugly splat. 2nd Player: Upon my box of dice I swear full true This A.G.M. no vote for you I cast. 4th Player: This crossbow bolt did ay but pierce my head: Not dead am I; I rise again to fight! But wait! What doest thou with that large axe? GM: Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up! (The GM administers the coup-de-grace) GM: That's better. Now, what sayest I? Oh yes. Let dismal bells be tolled and mourners weep, In s|emn fanfare let their noses blow While cannon fire doth mark the dreary dirge. (Enter bearers) GM: Take up the dead that ay hath fallen here, These maps unseen, these plot notes never used And these, the stats of NPCs un}et, And Player Handouts read by none but I. Take up mine whole campaign, that noble thing So cold and still, and from this cursed place Do bear the corse with signal honours full Unto a shelf where mournful ducks do squeak. And henceforth in sepulchral boxed file With all mine other plts that died a death May this campaign the sleep unending sleep, And in that darksome night do find its peace. O bugger it! With such despondent ease I give up not. Shall half-assed PCs make Mine toil and trials grim to be in vain? Next year I run the bloody thing again. (Exeunt) Finis Weekly Meetings Just a reminder that the last Weekly Meeting of this term is on Tuesday 4th May, 7pm - Upper Hall, Emma A.G.M, And Elections And another reoinder that the AGM is on Tuesday 27th April at7pm, in Z Basement, Christ's. Motions will be discussed, and next year's Committee will be elected. Of course, we can't actually elect a Cmmittee unless some of you stand for it, so get yourself nominated and seconded (in writing please), and get that nomination to a Committee member by midnight on Sunday 25th April. Your nominator and seconder must both be (different) mgmbers of the Society - you can nominate yourself, or second yourself, but not both. The posts up for grabs are:- President Junyor Treasurer Vice-President Assistant Secretary Secretary External Officer Don't forget you can stand for up to two of these posts - a preferred position, and a fall-back position for which you may still stand if you aren't elected to your preferred post. And anyone who wants to put forward any motions for discussion (amendments to the Constitution, bright ideas about things we should be doing but aren't, impeachment proceedings against the current Committee, that sort of thing), said motions should be proposed and seconded in writing, and passed on to a Committee mgmber. The deadline is the same as that for nominations - midnight on Sunday 25th April. Once the A.G.M. is over, we shall adjowrn to a convenient bar - see Pub Meetings. The Punt Party This year's expedition to locate the source of the Cam will take place on Sunday 13th June, from 1 pm to 6pm. The idea is to meet up at the Mill (just beside Scudamore's), froo 11am onwards, amass a suitable number of punts, head upriver to Granchester, stuff our faces, and then punt back in an appropriately replete and leisurely fashion. Dress code - duckweed. Tickets will cost 5 for Society members, 6 for non-members, and will be available from Anthony Grocock at any Society mgeting (or send money to the address below), up until the Pub Mgeting on the 8th June. Note that this is only to cover the cost of the vast quantities of food that shall be provided, plus the hiring the punts - so bring your own drink. Your Society Needs Punts!!! Let us know if you can get us a cheap punt or two on the day (or if you know where we can get one). If you can find one, book it. We'll pay for it, and there might even be a free ticket in it for you as well. Pub Meetings The very first Pub Meeting of term will be immediately after the A.G.M., and we'll decide at the time just where it's going to be (yes, this means you'll have to turn up to the A.G.M. first - cunning, eh?) The other Pub Meetings we have planned for thys term will be in Catz bar, from 7:30pm onwards, on Tuesday 11th May Tuesday 8th June Annual Dinner Photos If anyone who wants a photographic record of thys infamous event (whether as a momento or for blackmail purposes), you will be able to order your copy from Anthony Grocock at any Society mgeting. The deadline for placing your order will be the Pub Meeting on the 11th May. Rag Dungeon Money People who were sponsored in the Rag Dungeon - please pass your ill-gotten gains on to Anthony Grocock A.S.A.P. Video Evening We will be having another Video Evening some time towards the end of term, if we can find a room for it. We were thinking of showing Alien3, Robocop and Warlock. Anyone got any bettersuggestions? More importantly, does anyone know where we can get a room with a video? This Year's Committee are President: Chris Carr (Zebedee) 13 Warkworth St> (Downing), Vice-President: Stephen Balchin (Ermintrude) A16, New Court, St.John's Secretary: Iain Walker (Cutout Cardboard Shrub With No Soul) 10 Hale St> (Emmanuel) Assistant Secretary: Chris Watts (Dougal) Z20, Christ's, Junior Treasurer: Anthony Grocock (Brian) Rm>2, 9 Chesterton Lane (Clare), External Officer: David Wright (Dylan) Y11, Kings (Box 776)