Cambridge University R|e-Playing Society Newsletter the Sixth 1993/94 Times Change, seasons pass, and the trees lose all their green bits, but whatever else happened you could never change the beginning, even if you got lots 'n' lots o' people to think about it very hard. In a smug way this pleased the Committee, as they sat together basking in the bright pure light of the newly formed Sun. They were relaxing on a club 18-30 to Dark-itch Holiday, whyle the hoards from the Nether Regions cowered in fright of the light. The King sat wearing his sunglasses studying The Tome of all Knowledge, Ye Tragicall Comedie of Advanced CyberCthulhu & Gurpshammer 2000 (2nd Edition - released before 1st Edition - with all those niggling little problems ironed out, so that the whole thing is much more readable). He was looking for a source of true power, that would take him beyond this plane and into the place of enlightened thought. The Scribe was trying to do a similar thing, but everyone kept telling him he wasn't good enough, so he had reverted to stari~g at a blank piece of paper in the vain hope that something useful might come of it. Alternated, of course, between very long periods of sleep (daytime preferable), and searching for a non-existent qui|l. In the meantime Ratty and the Magician, frolicked joyfully among the waves (What happened to the goat?). The Apprentice wastrying to pull them apart, but just kept getting soaked. He must have been enjoying it though, as he kept going back for more. Come to think of it, not all the committee were present. This thought perched for some time at the back of the King's preoccupied mind. Suddenly he sat bolt upright, the Tome falling at his feet. 'OK! Own up. Whose turn was it to watch the Black Knight, and make sure he doesn't cause any more trouble again.' The others looked at their shoes, sandals and robe-ends sheepishly (or should that be goatishly). 'Never, mind its too late for all that now. We0need to know where he is and what he's up to.' 'I... I... I... think I saw him skulking off towards the gate to the Nether Regions', stammered Ratty. 'Well that's settled then,' said the Apprentice as he drew his mighty Blade of Flaying Gerbils (+ 9000), 'Let's go down there and get him before he manages to ruin everything.' 'Especially the upcoming quest to recover the Sword of Varrseetie froo thse Daemons inhabiting the parallel dimensions', added the Scribe, feeling he ought to get histwo-penneth in, before things got really out of hand. 'Err... Actually he said he was going to rally support for our...' began the Magician. 'Hmmmmm...', chorused the others. 'But, he did. I promise' The looks of scorn that met his comments were confronted by a jwvenile tantrum. No answer to that. Offensive Bit Following the rather abysmal turn out to last week's blood sacrifice, the President's room is home to a rather relieved goat. It is due to the rather poor pun in that last adjective that the President's room has acquired a rather distinctive aroma. Suggestions please. [Shoot the President.] This weekend we are offering a RAG horse-buggering trip to Paris. In exchange for the loan of 'des chevaux', we are hoping to palm a distressed goat (one careful owner) off on them. Varsity Match Horror of horrors, the Varsity match may still be taking place. We have tried to intimidate Oxfrod (joke courtesy of the Archimedians) into submission, but they insist on attending. I guess thys means that we will have to do some work for a change. The current situation is as follows. They turn up on Friday. Whylst we hone our players' skills (Can we have some more competitors please), we get them pissed, then announce that they have to sleep in the street. Then theyget arrested for vagrancy, and are unable to compete on the Saturday afternoon. Cunning, eh? AGM Ngxt term< we have an AGM. This is being held in Z-Base}ent Christ's on Thursday 5 May. All the posts are up for grabs, so if you are interested in becoming Chief Goat... The posts are elected in the following order. If you stand for a post, then you may have an insurance place (just like UCCA/PCAS) of anything lower on the list. Anyway, here's the list: President Vice- President Secretary Assistant Secretary Junior Treasurer External Officer (Chief Caprine Entity?) Now you've made up your mind which posts you are going to stand for, reach for a piece of paper and jot down your name and college, along with the names of the posts and make sure it gets into the President's pigeon hole. Oh, and get another member of the Society to sign it as well. If you want you can get the autograph of one of the Committee Members, but you might have to buy them a drink (or a burger) first. If you can think of anything that will make the society a better and all the more livelier place then propose a motion and get it seconded, just like above and leave it in the same place. Rumours of thyngs being lost from the President's pigeon hole are completely unfounded. Just because the minutes of the last EGM haven't made it to the constitution yet. Society Vile-Space Ditto all previous newsletters. PS. Newsletters tend to arrive on the file-space about a week before they make it back from the printers. Not that that is an incentive... darkretch In the spirit of co-operation, we thought we'd tell you about the note found pinned to the President's door a few days ago, so here it is: "For the next newsletter - the Darkrych event is occurring on Friday 11 March. All members of CURS except a few of thse in the real world should have received a Darkrych newsletter with more information. Anyone who wants more ingormation should see me or Jon (address on DR newsletter, which you should have). DON'T let Mark write anything derogatory about Darkrych in the newsletter. Use Postcrypt font for Darkrych name. Tom - The Moths." Unvortunately, at the time of writing, none of us have received such a Newsletter (are they trying to tell us something?), so we don't know who this Jon is. There shouldn't be too many in the University, so why not get in touch with all of them. The one who doesn't give you a strange look when you confront him with this is the one you are looking for. Alternatively, you could always pack yourself a rucksack ful| of dwarf bread and venture out into the wilds surrounding Cambridge in search of Tom, or Ed (the ones at the bottom of the page). Pub Meetings These are a source of many interesting anecdotes. Just ask Patty, and (s)he will enlighten you with the Bedroom Farce style meeting of two weeks ago. There are two pseudo-unofficial meetings this term> These are around the Varsity match. If you had read your last newsletter (and kept it), then you would know the dates and times of this. Come along on the last Friday of term to Patty's room at 2 pm for more details, but for the sake of tedium, I am NOT going to repeat it all again here. Anyway, back to the point. The 'two' (Mathmo definition) pub meetings next term are back to Thursdays; dates as follows: 28 April 12 May 9 June Weekly Meetings These will be held for the first three Tuesdays of next term, in Emma, as always (except when they aren't). The first one will be the 19 April. If you are really lucky, we will tell you in advance if we are thrown out. In such circumstances, alternatives will (not!) be arranged, if we can afford them. T-Shirt I quote the President: "By the time you get this newsletter, the T-shirts will have been delivered." How's that for (blind) faith? I suggest that you all buy one, because if there are any left, we will come round and garrotte you with them (or use them to blind-fold the horses). Actually they are quite nice. They look quite good underneath one of those pretty white linen jackets with the wrap-around arms. You know, the ones that buckle up at the back. Desperate Plea The President would like a better nick-name. One that has not begn pinched from a Peanuts cartoon. This Weeks members of the Ed Carter Depreciation Society Are: President Chris (Peppermint Patty) Watts W32 - Christ's Chief Goat Goat " " Vice-President Mark (I haven't GMed it !) Mackey Trinity Hall Secretary Mark ( * ) Brown 6 Fen Court - Peterhouse Assistant Secretary Ian (Where is everyone ?) Lewis Rm> 1, 34 Warkworth St. - Emma Junior Treasurer Tom (Rodney) Williams E301, Wolfson Court - Girton External Officer Ed (Independent Traders) Carter 37, Lingholme Close 0223-312448 * We|l, it's another masterpiece. I wonder how many people I can offend this week? Just about everyone. I wonder whether Wimbledon have a hope in hell? Why am I writing this? Why are we here? Sod this. I'm Off.