Cambridge University Roleplaying Society ======================================== Newsletter the Fourth 1996/97 ============================= If I ever become an Evil Overlord: --------------------------------- 1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible." 8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. 9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". 11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself. 12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. 14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident: I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it. 15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any. 16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes. 19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. 20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused. 22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. The Library ----------- The Society still maintains a library of role-playing material that can be borrowed for a refundable deposit. We have a wide selection of games, adventures and magazines, currently residing with the ex-Vice President Tim Cooke, tmac2@cam.ac.uk. The LRP Officer also holds the Society's stock of latex weapons and accessories for Live Role-Playing. The last EGM ------------ The two main motions we had caused much debate, even if most of it was from one person: 1. "We propose that the Society should accept sponsorship from TSR" This was amended to "We propose that the society should accept sponsorship from TSR, and that the committee should manage such sponsorship, and that the society shall enter into no commitment with TSR." This amended motion was passed unanimously. 2. a) "We propose that the whole Society should join the Role Playing Games Association (RPGA)" b) "We propose that if the Society does not join the RPGA then a small number of memberships should be created." In the event neither of these options was voted upon, as the RPGA representative at the meeting offered the Society a free RPGA membership for one person on a trial basis. Later committee discussion means that the External Officer will have this free membership and report back in a year's time. The proposed election for the post of Vice President was postponed to allow more candidates to come forward - many people believed the election was not fair due to the short notice given. Paul Baxter, one of the candidates for the election, was co-opted unanimously as acting VP until another EGM could be called for the purpose of holding an election for the post. Two further motions were put forward by Paul Killworth and Brian McLaughlin. Unfortunately, the text of the first was lost due to a tragic accident with the piece of paper - the gist was that each Society member should be implanted with an LED display on which messages and advertisements could be placed such that the Society could make money, said money to be controlled by Paul. Both this motion and a spurious amendment were heavily defeated. The second motion was: "1. We propose that the Society purchase Featherstone Castle, dismantle it brick by brick and transport it to the greenfield site west of Cambridge, or any other location that the Committee deem suitable. The castle will then be rebuilt and refurnished. This would make live roleplaying at said location much more practical." "2. If the above motion be passed we recommend that the Castle be fitted with extensive central heating in the floors." Part 1: Amendment proposed by XO and seconded by Rohan: That the words "if we raise the funds" be added to the motion. - For 17, against 3, abstain 1, carried. Amendment proposed by Andrew Mobbs; seconded by David Damerell: "We should try and get a compulsory purchase order." - For 11, against 8, abstain 3, carried. Amendment proposed by David Damerell; seconded by Martin Reed: That the words "the greenfield site west of Cambridge" should be changed to "Great Court, Trinity College". - For 20, against 2, abstain 1, carried. Amendment proposed to this by XO and seconded by Straff: That the words "in preference to another location" be added after the above amendment. - For 17, against 4, abstain 1, carried. Vote on amended motion: for 12, against 3, abstain 4, carried. Part 2: Amendment proposed by Andrew Mobbs and seconded by XO: That the motion specifically include bedding. - For 12, against 7, abstain 1, carried. Amendment proposed to this: That the motion specifically include comfortable furniture. - For 4, against 12, abstain 2, failed. Amendment proposed: "That smoke detectors be added that don't go off when you light fires." - For 11, against 2, abstain 3, carried. Vote on amended motion: for 14, against 5, abstain 2, carried. The final outcome of the Featherstone vote means that the External Officer was mandated to write to the National Lottery Commission to plead for money for the cause; he will report back in due time. New library purchases were suggested; those we have been able to find and afford will be hitting the Library soon... The society now also has its own newsgroup:ucam.societies.curs. The NEXT EGM ------------ Due to the lack of a properly-elected Vice President we will need to hold another EGM. The venue is the same, Clare Buttery, from 8pm on Tuesday the 4th March. Nominations for the post should reach the President by midday on Saturday the 1st March. Some motions to clear up inconsistencies in the current Constitution have already been proposed. Further motions should also be sent to the President. Weekly Meetings --------------- These are continuing every Tuesday at the usual venue, Clare Buttery, from 8pm until 11pm. This year we appear to have 2 regular games running there every week, so there is still lots of room for more if any GMs are interested. The bar is also just seconds away if you need liquid refreshment as an encouragement for your players. The CURS pub meet is now officially dead after complete lack of interest at the last one. One-Offs -------- The one-offs evening for this term will replace the weekly meeting on Tuesday the 11th March. Come to Clare Buttery as usual and try your hand at GMing or playing in a different game to your usual one. It's also a good chance to try some social interaction (wow!) with some different people! Discounts --------- These are still available on all role-playing products at Games & Puzzles and Otherworld Games. You must present a valid CURS membership card and photographic ID. Otherworld are apparently happy for any Society members to claim a discount, so understandably we are endorsing them in preference. 1997 Rag Dungeon ---------------- The Rag Dungeon unfortunately had to postponed at short notice due to venue problems. The new date is the weekend of 3rd and 4th of May, early next term. This is also a bank holiday weekend so that Real World members have no excuses for not joining in. For further details, mail Tim Cooke (tmac2@hermes.cam.ac.uk) or the Assistant Secretary (mjc42@hermes.cam.ac.uk). Polycon ------- On the weekend after the Rag Dungeon next term will be the second version of this Cambridge RPG convention, We're going to organise some teams to go into the team competitions on the day - more details soon. There will be games of most common systems running on the day, including some run by Society members. Please mark the weekend down in your diary NOW! This week's committee is: Steve Strafford President Rip van Christ's sds22@cam.ac.uk Winkle * Steve McIntyre Secretary The Seven Churchill stevem@chiark.greenend.org.uk Dwarves * Paul Baxter acting VP Rumpelst- Girton pdb26@cam.ac.uk iltskin * Rohan Platts Jnr Treas The Wicked Homerton rp207@cam.ac.uk Stepmother* Mat Charles Asst Sec The Genie Trinity mjc42@cam.ac.uk of the Lamp* Alden Spiess LRPO The Corpus aos20@cam.ac.uk Pumpkin * Christi Dave Stewart CC Entity Little Billy Churchill dbs20@cam.ac.uk Goat Gruff * Rob Wilcox Ext Off Prince Real World robw@chiark.greenend.org.uk Charming * World Wide Web: http://hammer.chu.cam.ac.uk/~sam1007/curs/ Steve McIntyre 16/02/97 * Apologies to all concerned - if you think you can do better let us know... Thanks to Alden for supplying his rules for world domination